ABOUT WOMEN AND BOATING

Who are you, where are you from, where are you now and where are you going?

Judy & John Griffiths, Durango, Colorado
SV Pegasus lying San Carlos, Sonora, Mexico

 We've been living aboard Pegasus in Mexico for 3 ˝ years, using San Carlos and Marina Real 
as our base.  During that time we've sailed to La Paz twice, spending two winters in Marina Palmira.
 This winter (2008/2009) we've remained in San Carlos but hope to do some cruising for a month 
or two this spring, maybe to Conception Bay on the Baja peninsula. 

 We're planning a road trip home to Colorado this summer to check up on our property, to visit 
adult children and grandchildren, and to get out of the beastly hot Sonoran summer weather 
for a month or two.

 Pegasus is our first boat and our previous sailing experience was limited.  We had friends
in Durango who were experienced sailors and we joined them when they chartered
a Moorings boat out of La Paz for a week. Then right before we bought Pegasus 
in the summer of 2005, we took ASA sailing classes in Kemah, Texas and spent
one night on the hook. 

 Our long term sailing goals are very modest.  Pegasus, a 1994 Catalina 36 with
a shoal draft wing keel, is a coastal cruiser and we have no ambitions to sail her 
across any oceans.  My ultimate goal is Zihuatanejo, Mexico and back.

What are your fears and how have you dealt with them?

 I've always loved the water and did not expect to have any fears about sailing.  
Also, our move to a boat was a joint decision and I was actually the one who first 
talked about the possibility.  Even so, I've had my fears and anxieties.  

 Initially, I was overwhelmed by being outside my comfort zone in every facet of life. 
Living on a boat was all new and so was living in Mexico.  A trip into Guaymas 
to shop for groceries was cause for anxiety.  The loud “thunk” when a sea lion 
slapped the underside of our boat in the night was cause for anxiety.  
The first big wind howling and rocking us all night was cause for anxiety.  
Over time, what was new became routine and my comfort zone expanded.

 We spent quite a long time tied up to the dock before we took Pegasus out for 
the first time.  We were both very anxious and to some extent we still are 
every time we leave the dock.  We're careful people and very aware 
that our safety and the safety of our boat depends on our planning, 
preparation, skill and resourcefulness.  My biggest fear is that something 
will go wrong and that I won't know what to do or that I'll panic even if I know 
what to do.  It's more a fear of failure than a fear of injury or death.  I'm afraid that 
if tested, I won't be able to meet the challenge.  My second biggest fear is that 
we'll get into such an uncomfortable situation that I'll want to quit, sell the boat 
and give up the dream.  I would really like to get good enough at this that 
I can say that I'm in my comfort zone when we're out on the water, but I'm not there yet. 

 Sometimes I've been surprised when I wasn't afraid.  Here's something I wrote 
in my journal after our second nighttime crossing of the Sea of Cortez: 

 I used to wonder if I would feel comfortable out of sight of land, and especially 
at night.  I love it!  Since most dangers are close to shore (shallows, reefs, 
fishing boats, etc.) I actually feel safer, and it is just so beautiful at dusk and 
dawn.  That's when we saw the most wildlife – large pods of dolphins and 
rays leaping and soaring out of the water.  At one point approaching 
San Carlos at dawn the water looked more like dense, shiny mercury.  
It was almost a full moon the night we crossed and the moonlight made 
a path on the water and provided good visibility.  I felt very fortunate to be there.”

What have you learned about living on a boat (pros and cons)?

 I love the fact that we downsized our material possessions.  We still own a house 
in Colorado that is rented out, but we sold three quarters of our belongings and 
we now exist on a day to day basis with much less “stuff.”  Given the current 
economic situation in the U.S. and worldwide, I feel that we got a head start 
on learning how to get by with less.

Pros:  
More time spent outdoors
Motion, sights and sounds of living on the water
Snorkeling, kayaking and walking on the beach
Camaraderie of other cruisers
Lifestyle (casual clothing and carefree hair are the norm)
Availability of fresh seafood, fruits and veggies

Cons:
Uncomfortable in bad weather
Unpleasant odors (head/toilet, mildew, diesel fumes, fishy marina, sweaty husband)
Inconvenience of top loading reefer
Lack of workspace (always have to move something to do something)
Inconvenient storage (always have to move something to get to something)
Uncomfortable seating and mattresses

What have you learned about yourself and your relationship with your spouse?

 I'm pretty self-aware but have had one new insight.  I'm not a person who is content 
to just live in the present.  I like anticipating new adventures and challenges.  
I think that's why our current lifestyle appeals to me.  We have no idea where we'll be 
or what we'll be doing in five years. 
 I'm very proud of myself when I'm able to contribute to the solution when we have 
a mechanical problem. I've always relied on my husband for those kinds of things 
but now we work together and I've found that I have some troubleshooting skills of my own.  

 Our relationship has matured and improved during the years we've been on the boat.  
We had always been more of a “couple” than other couples we knew, hanging out 
together always with something to talk about.  That basic friendship has continued 
and makes it possible for us to live together in such tight quarters 24/7.  
One of the cruising books I read said that you can't expect the other person to be 
available for conversation just because they are physically present.  I'm working on that.  

 Although we've always played well together, we never worked well together. 
When working on a project, my husband has the entire process in his head 
and tends to issue directives to me that I feel are bossy and relegate me to helper status. 
I never liked that and tended to work alone whenever possible.  Now, I try to make sure 
that I understand the big picture and that we discuss the steps involved so that 
I'm a partner in the effort.  

 Living and working together on the boat has actually forced us to improve our relationship.  

What experience has touched you the most?

Here's an excerpt from my journal:  

 Just a few nights ago, a sailboat caught fire in the La Paz harbor, burned to the waterline 
and sank. It had belonged to a twenty eight year old young man who was not 
aboard at the time. All he had left in the world was the clothing on his back 
and his driver's license.  The cruising community in La Paz outdid themselves. 
They are still collecting donations for Brian, but the amazing thing is that 
three cruisers went together and bought him a replacement boat - the exact same 
kind of boat that sank!  It needs a lot of work but volunteers have already fixed some 
of the systems and other necessary repairs have been scheduled. As they identify 
equipment that is needed, the call goes out and things materialize out of the 
generosity of the cruising community. “

What do you miss about living on land?

 We rented a house in San Carlos last summer for several months after 
my husband had hip replacement surgery.  I loved the refrigerator.  
I would have liked a bathtub but we didn't have one.  
I had a love-hate relationship with the satellite TV.  

If you could share a thought, words of wisdom, advice, 
to someone contemplating boat life, what would it be?

 Do it, but with an exit strategy.  Some cruisers sell the house and the car 
and cut all ties to their old life.  If they get sick or get frail as they age, 
they are financially unable to re-enter the market in the U.S.  
Our house provides rental income and the security of knowing that 
we can return if we change our minds or if something goes wrong.  
I can't imagine being without our truck in San Carlos although we 
put it in storage and do without a vehicle when we sail to La Paz.  

 Don't have unrealistic expectations about being on one long vacation.  
Daily life is daily life whether in house or on a boat.  You still have 
to shop, cook, clean up, do laundry, maintain things, fix things, 
pay bills, take care of pets, go to the dentist, deal with unexpected 
health problems, yada yada. 

 If you wanted to share something special about you and your life 
with your family, children, grandchildren, what would that be?

 If we had lived close to our children, it would have been difficult 
to leave at that particular time.  Our first grandchild was born 
just as we were moving from Colorado to the boat in Mexico, 
but we lived 8 hours apart and would not have been a part 
of each others daily lives anyway.  Our other child was living 
on the east coast and we didn't see her often either.  I've visited 
each year for 2-3 weeks, and once they all managed to join us 
in La Paz for several days.  

 The Internet and wi-fi have made it possible for us to keep in touch. 
The kids post pictures on the web and I use Skype to make cheap 
international phone calls.  We're rarely out of communication range 
for more than a week at a time even when traveling along the remote 
coast of Baja California, and I keep a cheap Mexican cell phone 
so that they can call me if they need to.

What is your favorite activity on board?

Weaving blankets out of all the dog and cat hair from our two pets (just kidding)!

Is there anything else you would like to add?

 One size doesn't fit all.  Some folks work on their boat all the time 
and never seem to go anywhere.  Others don't even pretend to want 
to travel and happily use their boats as condos (boat-ominiums).  
Liveaboards who stay in marinas rarely go day sailing since it takes 
so long to put away the daily conveniences.  Liveaboards at anchor 
or mooring buoys tend to be much more self sufficient and mobile with 
their water makers and solar panels.  Some of us are content to stay 
in the Sea of Cortez and along the coasts of Mexico while others 
head off around the tip of South America or cross the Pacific 
to the Marquesas and beyond.  Cruisers are a diverse group 
and I've never met a more generous and supportive group of people.